It’s time to rip up the rule book, here’s why!

Have you ever caught yourself obeying rules that were set by someone else? I’m not meaning the law or the highway code, (yes you do have to follow those rules!) but rules that someone else has made up for you, be it your mum, your family, society in general? I  believe that it’s time to rip up the rule book of all those outdated, unwarranted and unnecessary rules so we can achieve freedom and start living the life we want to live! 

Rest when your body tells you to rest!

This thought process was sparked off in part by something that happened to me the other week. I was in bed feeling absolutely exhausted. It was a day when I didn’t have to be anywhere until lunchtime and my bones were feeling weary. At one point I’d had to check to see if somehow I’d got velcro velcroing me to the bed, I felt that tired!

My thought was that I needed to get up and get going, to do something productive. To be at my desk by 9 am tackling the pile of paperwork every self-employed person generates! Or to start wrestling with the washing pile or to do something… doing nothing seemed like a terrible waste of time somehow.

Then I thought of one of my friends who is very good at following her own biorhythms and who does honour herself when she needs to rest and I thought actually it’s ok to rest, there are no rules, you don’t HAVE to be up and at your desk, in full make up, showered and dressed at 9 am every day (I’m self-employed so my boss will indeed allow this. Those of you who are employed may not have this freedom, but certainly you can apply this principle during weekends and on days off)

In the end I had a 90 min nap and woke up feeling like a whole new woman so I must have needed some sleep that day!

Wear what you like!

The second incident that alerted me to this need to rip up the rule book was in a charity shop last week. I was mooching around the clothing section when I overheard a lady glumly announce that she couldn’t possibly wear the gorgeous green cargo pants that she had in her hands because she was 80! I couldn’t help it, I went marching over to her and told her that she absolutely could buy and wear the cargo pants because there are no rules stating that you can’t wear cargo pants once you’re 80!

Plus from my experience of wearing my llama drama dungarees, no one actually cares about what you’re wearing. I had felt a bit scared to wear my dungarees out in case someone had a negative opinion of them! I was a bit put out when no one batted a blooming eyelid!

All these years I’ve been playing it safe, wearing mumsy outfits so no one would think I’m bonkers (well, ok, those who know me may argue with that diagnosis but hey you know what I mean!) So my advice is that you wear what you want, (as long as it’s decent!) and if you need to rest a while and take time to recharge your own batteries, then absolutely do that! 

If you’d like to get a glimpse of my llama dungarees click here

Start new projects whenever makes sense for you!

Another stupid rule that I’ve subconsciously taken on board as my own include that you shouldn’t start a new project on a Friday ‘because it won’t get finished’ This was one of my mums big things, but it turns out that Friday is a day when I seem to be more energised and bushy tailed that other days of the week so for me starting something on a Friday would work. And frankly if I start something it’s way more likely to get finished than if I don’t start it.

Do the fun stuff first!

My mum was also a big advocate of not doing anything fun until all your jobs have been done. Whilst I confess this morning I have run around attempting to get the house tidy before starting writing this, I do think doing all your jobs first and then having fun can be a bit like expecting your mobile phone to work before you’ve charged it up fully! So my thought is rip up that rule too and try doing something you love first before you start on the chores!

I find if I do my art, or writing or something creative – even spending a bit of time outdoors, I can get so much more done because I’m in the flow, my happy hormones are there.

I also find creative solutions to doing work and housework tasks if I’ve been creative before I start! I’m left feeling like my personal battery is on 100%.

So I’d highly recommend creating a new rule which gives you permission to do things in the way that makes sense for you. Even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else (Mother!) 

Do the job that you love, not the job you’ve been told to have!

Many years ago my friends and I were sitting around the table in Sainsburys coffee shop (we know how to live life to the full!) and each of us had a story that essentially went ‘I wanted to be a ________ but my parents said I had to do ____________ so I trained to do _________ but I wasn’t happy so in the end I decided to do______ instead.’

It was interesting how we all had a version of this. I think often we can get so het up on what society wants to us to have (a big job, a big car, a big house, flashy holidays, responsibility and a big pension) and that’s absolutely fine if that’s what you want!

But so often what we want is to have a quiet life, with key people surrounding us and time to pursue our own interests and day trips to the beach. I know I aspire to that.

So if you’re not currently doing a job that sets your soul on fire, think about what you would like to do and see if you can do more of that, or if you can volunteer to do something more in alignment with the things you’d like to do.

Be a trailblazer as life is too short to be spending 40+ hours a week doing something that makes you grind your teeth at night.

Holidays don’t have to be for a long time, be a long way away or terribly expensive! 

Last year I didn’t take any time off at all, and got to the point by December I had crumbled into a big heap. This year I have decided to make a point of taking holiday days. I’ve realised that I always thought holidays need to be expensive, exotic, for a fortnight (at least!) and involve a lot of hassle.

I’ve realised this is another rule that needs to be ripped from the rule book! It is perfectly possible to feel like you’ve had a mini holiday by doing something as simple as going to the beach, spending a few two pence pieces in the arcade, having a bag of freshly made doughnuts and taking a photo of seagulls that stay still long enough!

Using apps like Skyscanner and Google Flights you can book holidays fairly cheaply it turns out! If you do some research on the internet you may find that there are ways of getting into major cities from airports without expensive taxi rides so it doesn’t need to be as expensive as you might think!

Other things you could do include visit local hotels that have a spa for a spa day, or simply take yourself out for lunch and visit a local museum or two! 

Further Reading:

Here’s a blog post I wrote years and years ago about my mini one day holiday in Harrogate https://sparkle442.blogspot.com/2014/02/what-treasures-are-on-your-doorstep.html 

Read my blog post on creating the life you want. 

https://www.sarahcooper.co.uk/how-to-create-the-life-you-want/