Christmas is over – now what?! 

Here are 12 little things that changed my life. 

I used to believe that in order to change my life I would have to ‘do something’ fairly elaborate. But the more I thought about it the more I realised that I’d already made some significant changes to my life, not through elaborate gestures and giving up chocolate but by doing a fairly bijou series of little things to tweak my lifestyle, mindset and daily routine.

As ever I thought they may be useful to other people hence why I’m sharing them with you now.

If you find them useful please feel free to share this post with your friends

Having a good breakfast within an hour of waking up

Those of you who know me well know that I’m not a morning person and so breakfast is something that I’ve struggled with in the past.

I’ve spent way too many years skipping breakfast in favour of some form of caffeine replenishment therapy – a.k.a a pot of coffee and then nothing to eat until mid morning. (I know, I know!)

But then I read an article which said that having breakfast – and the right kind of breakfast- within the first hour or two after we wake up would set us up for the day and help rebalance our hormones.

So I gave it a go and found that eating something rich in protein within that first hour made all the difference. I found that I wasn’t needing a mid-morning biscuit break, my energy levels where higher and I was more able to focus. 

Tuning in to what made my body / gut feel better

Going back to the idea of having breakfast (or not as the case may be!) I realised that the cereal and toast type ‘traditional’ breakfast had left me feeling either a bit light headed or downright hungry by 9.30 am (sometimes both!) whereas something a bit more substantial made me feel better.

The more I thought about this the more I realised that there were other patterns to things that I ate that either left me with a low mood, feeling sluggish or feeling way better, depending what they were.

So I started to make a point of really tuning in to what my body needed and what it wanted less of. I realised that bread based things don’t make me feel great unless they were the less processed kind.

Things like salmon and brazil nuts made me feel good as did chicken thighs and butter – but things like low fat margarine, low fat yoghurts, low calorie pop, and anything with artificial sweeteners just made me feel downright ill.

I found having a little supper stopped me from waking up in the wee small hours and for some reason having a bigger cup of tea made me sleep better than having the small one (presumably with concentrated caffeine!)

So it was all about just noticing what was working and what wasn’t and doing more of the things that made me feel good and avoiding anything that didn’t!

After I’d made a point of noticing what food and drinks made me feel good I started thinking about what my body needed.

It turned out it sometimes needed to rest and other times it needed exercise.

Other days it just needed a big heartfelt hug from a friend.

Having regular reflexology helped enormously to help keep my stress levels at a manageable level too. 

Started listening to my Intuition

There have been many times when I’ve instinctively known what to do but chosen to ignore that instinct to my peril – like the day that I had the thought to go find my breakdown cover card, have a wee and buy a hot chocolate at a petrol station.

Only to find that within 20 mins of having this thought I was broken down at the roadside, desperate for the loo and craving a hot chocolate. I know know that if I have a thought it is worth acting on that thought, even if at the time it doesn’t make any sense!

Let go of the need for perfectionism. 

For many years I wanted to be perfect and this was so limiting as at the end of the day none of us are (thankfully!) I thought that in order to be loveable I would need to be good at everything, have all the answers and not have any personal flaws.

It was an impossible brief to keep to and one that left me with terribly low self-esteem for a long long time! In fact it delayed me starting my business for many years as I was so afraid that someone would ask me a question I didn’t know how to answer (I’ve since learned that most people are happy with my answer of ‘I will get back to you on that!’ if I’m not sure. I’ve also learned that the right people will love you because of your imperfections – just as I love other people exactly as they are! 

I’ve also realised that if I just approach life with a sense of ‘I wonder what would happen if..’ and a sense of playfulness life is a load more fun and way less daunting. So now I feel able to try new things without needing to be an expert immediately etc

Learned to Speak kindly to myself and set myself a series of mini dares

I realised that I was constantly having a go at myself, telling myself off for the least little misdemeanour. It took a while and a lot of practice but I’ve since learned to speak kindly to myself (most of the time) and to see the lessons that I can learn from situations that haven’t quite gone according to plan rather than berating myself for not doing better.

My eldest daughter is constantly saying to me ‘you’re doing your best’ and so now my inner voice is more likely to tell me that I’m doing my best than that I’m an idiot for not doing better!

If you’re too scared to do something just dare yourself to do it with no set outcome. So if you want to ask someone for a coffee for instance just ask (that being the dare) – they may say yes or they may say no, that doesn’t matter, the bit that matters is that you dared to ask!

Read my article on Improving your self-esteem
https://www.sarahcooper.co.uk/easy-ways-to-improve-your-self-esteem/ 

Tackled those things I’d been avoiding

Do you have a task that you’ve been putting off doing, a conversation that you’ve avoided having or maybe you really want to resign your job but haven’t quite got around to it yet?

If it’s causing you stress and hassle it can be useful to simply do that task or have that chat now so it’s done and you don’t have to think about it any more.

We can make it bigger in our heads than it actually is. Once it’s done we can get on with the rest of the day in peace.

Journal Prompt
Ask yourself  ‘what am I avoiding?’ 

Surrounded myself with the right people.

I used to spend a lot of time surrounded by people who I couldn’t be my authentic (if slightly bonkers) self with. Having to edit yourself to fit in with how someone else wants you to be is exhausting.

In the end I broke away and found people who are heading in the same direction as me, have shared values and interests and who are generally encouraging, loving and constructive. 

Changed expectations of how life was going to be

For years I expected life to be constantly smooth with no bumpy bits – once I changed my expectations my life got way better. I know that whilst there are bumpy times in life generally everything sorts itself out eventually and then calm is restored.

I also realised that I’m stronger than I gave myself credit for and that I too can do hard things! 

Crossed that bridge when I came to it!

My key piece of advice to all my children is to ‘cross that bridge when you come to it’ In other words only deal with actual situations that arise rather than conjuring up some worst case scenario along with dire consequences out of some imagined event.

Especially as about 90% of everything we worry about never actually happens!

If you have a journal flick back through the pages note what you were worrying about this time last year (or even this time last week) chances are it all resolved itself nicely or didn’t actually happen in the end!

Worked out how much time things actually take!

For some unknown reason I always assumed that vacuuming the house was going to take hours (if not days!) to do! When in fact it takes about 20 minutes tops. Ditto mowing the lawn.

If you don’t know how long things are going to take you’ll not get around to doing them as you’re going to think it will take way longer than it will.

So if you work out the facts of the matter you can simply slot short activities like vacuuming the house or mowing the lawn into those small gaps rather than thinking you have to put 3-4 working days to one side to do a simple task!

Set boundaries with my phone use

One of the key little things that made a difference to my life was setting strict boundaries for my phone.

I stopped taking it upstairs overnight so I couldn’t be stressing over a work email at 4 in the morning when I came back from the loo. I found that there are focus modes on my latest phone so if I want to concentrate I can pop it on one of the focus modes.

I also try not to have it out when out with friends (apart from to take a photo or three) 

I also put it on silent for much of the time – so I don’t have lots of notifications binging at me at all hours. Occasionally I go for a walk without it so that I can simply focus on what I’m experiencing rather than stopping every 3 ft to take a photo of something else!

Further Reading https://www.sarahcooper.co.uk/confession-time-why-i-was-struggling-to-get-a-good-nights-sleep/ 

https://www.sarahcooper.co.uk/10-small-daily-habits-that-lead-to-big-wellness-wins/

Stopped setting radio alarm to come on on the hour!

I hit on the idea that if I set my radio alarm to come on on the hour I wake up each day to the news. And as we all know they rarely speak of good news.

So if you want to start your day in a more positive way, set it so it doesn’t come on on the hour! 

 Over to you! What little things have changed your life?

Do you feel overwhelmed?

Overwhelm often occurs when we have a heap of different urgent priorities all needing our attention all at once! It can be hard knowing where to start or what to tackle first. 

What causes us to feel overwhelmed?

Sometimes we’re overwhelmed by the pressures of work or studying, family commitments, a messy and cluttered house,  a sudden change in circumstances like a house move, redundancy, divorce or bereavement or maybe even a welcome, planned event like a wedding. 

Just the very thought of what we need to do to sort out the problem can have us heading towards a panic attack or leave us having a sleepless night, night after night.

I know when my mother died and I was left to empty her house out, I sat at the kitchen table with my head in my hands and a strong cup of tea, wondering where on earth to start! 

Gather supplies and resources

Before you do anything, gather up supplies and resources.

This may include getting a notebook and pen to jot down ideas rather than having a myriad of bits of paper floating around! 

It could be gathering up a selection of snacks and drinks to sustain you or clearing a space to work. The first thing I did when I started clearing out my mothers house was to create a patch where I could make coffee and tea and reheat soup. This made life a lot easier. 

If you’re starting a desk based project it may be useful to clear your desk off before you begin so you’ve got a clear space to work. 

If you’re decluttering you may need things like bin bags and cleaning products, or labels and storage boxes for things you’re planning on keeping.

If you’ve got a lot of documents which you need to have all to hand it may be useful to buy a display folder and pop them in the clear plastic wallets there.

You may want to make a list of the important tasks you need to do or to do some journaling to get all the thoughts, feelings and ideas you have out on paper thus making space in your head! 

Look after yourself first

Often if you’re feeling overwhelmed the last thing you want to do is eat big meals but having a protein rich breakfast can set you up for the day.

Drinking plenty of water, getting enough sleep if you possibly can and taking regular breaks are essential. 

If you have a slow cooker it can be helpful to load something into that in the morning so you have a cooked meal to look forward to in the evening with not much extra effort.

Where do you start? 

When faced with a problem that seems overwhelming it can difficult knowing where to start! If you’re overwhelmed by a work issue, speak to your boss about what to prioritise and what to park up for now. This should reduce your workload a little bit.

If it’s a home based or personal project, work out what is going to be make the biggest impact and do that first. 

If you’re decluttering, it can be useful to just simply pick somewhere to start. Good places to start are the smallest room or the room which will give the biggest impact, often this is either your bedroom, the bathroom or the kitchen.

If you’re not sure where to start decluttering in a room try gathering up one type of thing, so the rubbish, the laundry, the things that shouldn’t be in that room, any plates and cups, clothes etc. Once you’ve rounded up and processed one group of things, start on the next 🙂

Top Tip:
If you can’t get going, try setting a timer for 25 mins and tell yourself that after 25 mins you can stop if you want to!

It can be useful to run the timer again if you do stop so after 25 mins you get going again!

Enlist the help of friends and family

One way to stop feeling overwhelmed is to enlist the help of other people either for moral support, practical help, advice, contacts and information or simply to spur you on when the going gets tough.

Have a think around your friendship circle. Who could you potentially ask for help?

Before you start to worry about whether you’d be bothering your friends, think how much pleasure you get out of helping other people 🙂 

Often if you have someone helping you, you don’t feel as overwhelmed and have someone to bounce ideas off

Be your own best friend

You’re probably wondering why on earth there’s a picture of a pink fluffy parrot? Well if you’re anything like me you’ll probably have a negative narrative constantly running in the background telling yourself that you’re rubbish and that you should be more able to cope with whatever life throws at you!

It is way more helpful if you can change the narrative to one of positivity. Be your own best friend, your own biggest advocate, your own biggest source of praise.

Be gentle on yourself. Instead of telling yourself how rubbish you are, how you can’t do this, how it’s too big, too scary, too much, too overwhelming, start telling yourself that you’ve got this, that you can do it, that you’re capable of getting through this and coming out the other side. This too will pass!

Take regular breaks and time out

When feeling overwhelmed it is important to keep taking regular breaks and time out. This will help you stay sane! Good things to do to stop feeling overwhelmed include going for a walk, listening to uplifting or calming music, or doing your hobbies.

Having a day off actively working on whatever is overwhelming you can also be helpful. When I was sorting out my mothers’ house I used to take Friday off so I could concentrate on something else. This used to mean I had the strength to keep on until the job was done! 

Top Tip:

Try diffusing a calming essential oil blend like this one https://uk.nyrorganic.com/shop/sjcooper/product/2710/aromatherapy-blend-calming-10ml 

Further Reading:

https://www.sarahcooper.co.uk/easy-ways-to-get-yourself-out-of-a-funk/ 

Do you start every new year thinking ‘this is going to be my best year yet?! Or is that only me? I know that I wake up on 1st January with good intentions, wanting to change just about everything about my life and for a week or so it works, then I get tired. Or I forget I’m supposed to be drinking more water and eating more fruit and vegetables and catch myself drinking yet another coffee and stuffing my face with cream cakes and end up feeling like I’ve somehow failed. 

I’ve come to realise that the reason this happens is because I’m not clear with my intentions and I try to change too many things all at one time.

So here are some slightly more sustainable ways how to have a healthy and happy new year.

One thing I have learned over the years is that it’s possible just to restart where you’ve stopped – rather than feel that you have failed or that you need to start over from the beginning. It’s a bit like falling off a horse, you can just get back on it where you fell of, you don’t need to go back to the starting line. (That’s assuming the horse hasn’t run off!) 

Give your immune system a boost

Eat a good diet

This time of year everyone seems to have the winter sniffles (or worse) so boosting your immune system is a good idea. 

The best way to boost your immune system is to truly look after yourself by eating a good, nutritious diet based around fruit and vegetables, seeds, nuts wholegrains, pulses and legumes.

Eating a diet which is as unprocessed as possible can be useful as often you find hidden sugars and additives lurking in processed food. So where possible avoid ready meals, meal deals and pre-prepared foods. Eat home cooked meals instead. 

Include in your diet more fermented foods like sauerkraut or kimchi or live yoghurt or kefir. This helps support your microbiome and gut bacteria.

Quick Tip:

 

If you struggle to cook fresh food every day try bulk cooking so you have to hand some homemade food that doesn’t take any extra preparation when it’s needed.

 

If you’re not used to eating a lot of fruit and vegetables try adding in one extra piece of fruit to your breakfast or slicing up some tomato and cucumber to go in your lunchtime sandwich or having a banana as a mid afternoon slump buster.

Stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water.

If you find drinking water on its own a challenge experiment with adding slices of citrus fruit into your glass, or a slice of cucumber.

A slice of orange is nice in water. Also experiment with temperature of the water, some people find it better to have it room temperature, others prefer it iced or hot.

Supplement with vitamin D from October to April

The NHS recommends that most people would benefit from taking a vitamin D supplement during the darker winter months if living in the UK

For more information on the recommendations for taking vitamin D supplements see link below

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/vitamins-and-minerals/vitamin-d

Get enough sleep

Having a good nights sleep can make a big difference to your overall health and happiness. Going to bed and getting up at the same time (ish) every day can help your body into a good sleep pattern. 

If you find that you’re waking in the night try having a little supper before bed as often it can be a dip in blood sugar that wakes you up especially if you need to wee when you wake up.

Use your bedroom only for sleeping, reading and ‘bedroom things’ – try not to have it as a multipurpose office unless you can close away all signs of work at the end of your working day. It can also be helpful to ban children’s toys, laundry that needs processing or anything else that may get in the way of your bedroom being a relaxing sanctuary! 

 Check out my other blog posts on sleep

 

https://www.sarahcooper.co.uk/how-to-get-a-good-nights-sleep/

https://www.sarahcooper.co.uk/7-quick-ways-to-get-to-sleep/

 

https://www.sarahcooper.co.uk/effective-bedtime-rituals-to-help-you-sleep/

https://www.sarahcooper.co.uk/essential-oils-for-sleep/

 

Be active

Where possible get 150 mins of exercise per week. This works out at 30 mins a day over 5 days. Or increase your activity levels by going for a walk every day or having a wander around your garden.

Or try taking the stairs not the lift if your mobility allows or if you have a close-to-home errand to run like posting a letter or buying milk from the corner shop leave the car at home and walk or cycle instead.

Being more active gets your blood pumping and your feel good hormones flowing so is good for body, mind and spirit.

Read my blog posts about exercise

https://www.sarahcooper.co.uk/why-exercise/

https://www.sarahcooper.co.uk/active-lifestyle-ideas/

Manage Stress levels

Being stressed plays havoc with our immune system so keeping stress down to manageable levels is very important.

The new year is a good time to go over your list of commitments and to see what you can drop.

Create a calm down box or cupboard.

It can be useful to have to hand a bag, box or cupboard full of things you can go to more or less without thinking if you’re stressed to help distract you.

This could be an adult colouring book and pens or a notebook or a good book, a sketch book, or a face mask, some chocolate or some knitting or crocheting, or whatever you do to feel calm.

This way you can just go to it and distract yourself easily when stressed. Listening to relaxing music can be helpful.

If you feel angry whilst stressed try making bread from scratch, the kneading of the dough is a great way of expressing tension.

Have regular massages, reiki treatments or reflexology

Taking some time out for you where you put down the needs of everyone else in your life and simply relax is key for managing your stress levels. If you would like to check my availability and book and appointment please go to https://www.sarahcooper.co.uk/book 

Remember your wants and needs matter too!

It is so easy to always put everyone else’s wants and needs first but in order to be truly happy and healthy we need to remember that we too have needs, wants and desires and that these needs, wants and desires matter as much as anyone else’s!

Don’t be afraid to take breaks, to have time out, to go for an afternoon nap, to spend time doing your hobbies, meeting your friends etc.

The more rested and rebalanced you are, the happier you’re going to be. The ripple effect of this is other people are going to be happier too.

You know how much of a buzz it gives you when you put other people’s needs first, allow your friends and family to receive that same buzz for putting your needs first once in a while!

Have fun/ do the things you love first

Do  you find that your day is set up so that you do your work/chores/ other boring stuff first and then run out of time, money and energy for doing the things you love doing?

If so try setting your alarm for half an hour or an hour or so earlier each day and do the things you love doing first. This should give you a boost for the rest of the day. 

Know that you’re loveable and good enough just as you already are

Often we think that we have to be perfect in order to be loveable or good enough. But this is simply not true. You don’t need to wait until you’ve perfected yourself to be good enough, accepted or loved. Sometimes we end up worrying so much about our flaws that we hide away from opportunities for love. People, the right people will love you exactly as you are right now.

So be more you. The more you’re truly in alignment with who you are, what you stand for, and are your true authentic self the more the right people will be drawn to you. it is safe to be you!

Trying to constantly improve yourself in order to be ‘enough’ is exhausting. So this year, just relax in the knowledge that you are enough, you are loveable and enjoy being you.

Let the world see the real you … I dare you!