What is stopping you from achieving your dreams?
We all have our dreams, our ultimate goals. But we don’t all manage to achieve them. Why is this? Often it can be as simple as giving ourselves permission to try, to give it a go. To see what happens. To experiment, to play. We might be scared that it might not work well. That we’ll fail or embarrass ourselves or somehow looking stupid. Like that one time as a child when we stepped out of our comfort zone and ended up humiliated because it all went wrong. Or maybe we were chastised for daring to dream.
Maybe as teenagers we got into trouble for staring out of the window in class. For dreaming of becoming a ballerina or a train driver or writing bestselling books, or being the next big pop sensation headlining at Wembley. But instead of being encouraged to think big and to try for the Royal Ballet (apply for a train drivers course!) we are told not to be so silly and told to get a ‘proper’ job. One that can comfortably pay the bills. Maybe one that means we need to be in an office, in a suit, or driving a fancy car. But whilst this is what some people dream of, if it’s not for you then that’s ok. It is ok to create a life that makes sense to you. Even if it makes sense to no one else around you.
Well-meaning adults tried to keep us safe by telling us that what we dreamed of simply wasn’t possible. Maybe whatever we dreamed of didn’t sound possible. That’s not to say it wasn’t possible. A lot of children dream of becoming an astronaut. Now not all children will achieve this goal, but some of them will and have become astronauts. So it’s important not to dismiss out of hand our dreams. Dreaming elevates our thinking, it makes us think expansive thoughts and helps our powers of creativity and logic. Dreaming is so important. We need to reach out for our dreams and see what steps we can take to help them become reality.
Achieving your dreams: How do you make your dreams become a reality?
Firstly we need to decide what it is that we’re dreaming of. And make sure it is your dream, not clouded by anyone else. If you, at the bottom of your heart want to live in a log cabin, in a wood, with a camp fire then that is absolutely fine. If you want to be earning a million pounds a year (or a week!) then that is fine too. But make sure it is your dream. No one elses. Only you can dream your dream. Ignore what your parents think you should do. Nevermind what your nana, your children, your boss, your partner, your dog wants you to do. Dig deep and consider what YOU really want.
I know that for me, a simple life is very appealing. I like being able to wander around at home wearing my fluffy socks and to have the freedom to decide what I do with my days. I know that I don’t want to have a coprorate 9-5 job, stuck in a stuffy office. The whole thing sends shivers down my spine at the very thought. If I wasn’t a Reflexologist I would definitely be an author or writer and if that didn’t quite pan out I’d love to go back into catering. I love listening to peoples’ stories and know that regulars at a coffee shop would provide me with a wealth of interesting stories and passing chatter. I’d also love to be able to create coffee art, have a small home which was cosy and warm and be surrounded by friends and family. I want to easily pay my bills and have plenty of free time. I’d like to spend rainy afternoons curled up on the sofa with a pot of tea and a good book. Or take a walk in the sunshine. Build snowmen on snowy days. Make lots of delicious soup and crispy crunchy croutons. Like I say. A simple life would be perfect for me.
But what about you. What do you dream of? Do you need luxurious holidays in the sun a couple of times a year? To have a nice, shiny new car. Or a big house? Do you like luxuries like expensive skin care? Do you want to work with animals, or spend more time in your garden? Maybe you want to see your grandchildren more? Or work only part time hours? Or maybe you’d like a holiday cottage by the sea where you could get away from the madness of your daily life and simply relax? Maybe you crave the bright lights and hustle of a big city? Or would you rather be on an island on your own, for at least some of the time? Do you dream of moving to France to drink vin rouge and eat du fromage whilst listening to the sea gently lap on the harbour wall? Work out what it is that you want and then figure out what one simple step would be towards that goal.
Achieving your dreams: How would it be possible?
For me it could be to reduce my working week down by one day and to take that as a day to write. Or it could be to find a job in a little coffee shop where they could teach me to make cafe art! Or my first step could be to give myself permission to reach for my dreams, to realise my goals. To stop dismissing them as a whim or a flight of fancy. To see how possible reaching my goals would be.
This week another of my friends has published a book which has highlighted the fact that it IS possible to write and publish a book. I just need to give myself permission to start to write. To knuckle down and figure out what book to write. To decide on a topic, to lay out the bones of the chapters. To think about who would want to read what I have put. Who NEEDS to hear what I have to say? I firmly believe that we all have something to say that would help others in some way. If only we could settle down to actually write it. If we believed that it was possible. If we only knew that it was going to be a success and would be well recieved. Rather than imagining that it would end up on some publishers slush pile with a cup of cold coffee dripping onto our lovingly prepared manuscript.
I got into website design in a simliar way. One of my friends had his own website back in the days when hardly anyone had a website. I asked him if I needed any special skills or training in order to create a website, I thought his answer was going to be something like ‘I did a computer course at university and then I created a website’ His actual response was something along the lines of ‘nip down to the newsagents, find a computer magazine, they’re bound to have some free webdesign software on it, buy that and have a play’ Well he made it sound so easy! Bearing in mind that until this point I’d never downloaded a cd onto my computer, let alone created a website. It all sounded a bit well impossible at first! Anyway lo and behold I popped down to my local paper shop and bought a magazine, downloaded the software and had a play with it. It took a while for me to work out how to get my website online but hey I did it and never looked back really. I just needed him to tell me that what I thought was impossible was actually possible. He never told me to stop being silly. Nor did he berate me for dreaming of having my own website. He just calmly broke down the stages from concept to creation as simple as that! You could do the same to help you achieve your dreams.
Over to you!
What do you dream of doing?
Please let me know in the comments below
If you like this article you might like to read my article about creating the life you want.
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Sarah Cooper is a Reflexologist, Reiki Master Practitioner, Aromatherapist and Writer based in Boroughbridge, North Yorkshire, England.
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