10 Simple ways to help you feel better about yourself

What is burnout?

Burnout can be defined as mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion caused by extreme stress or constant pressure, often over a lengthy period of time. It usually comes with a lack of motivation, and even the most enjoyable things in life lose their appeal. If you’ve ever wished the world could stop so you could get off for a while, you may well be suffering with some form of burnout. 

What causes burnout? 

Feeling like you have a lot of pressure, a stressful job, not enough hours in the day, not enough time to enjoy hobbies. Pressure you put yourself under to do a great job or be perfect can also lead to burn out. Masking to fit in with others in society can also lead to burnout. Having a lot of deadlines close together without any reprieve can also cause burnout. 

Physically people may burn out when they’re doing too much exercise, not getting enough sleep and /or not having regular healthy meals. 

How do I avoid burnout?

Firstly see if there is anything you can delegate to someone else – do you have to do everything on your list yourself? Often we can lessen our workloads by outsourcing things we don’t need to do ourselves to someone else. This may also include hiring a gardener or a cleaner (or both!)

If you’re struggling at work with your workload or are struggling to understand what is expected of you it may help to speak to your manager or supervisor to get their support and understanding. They may be able to lighten your load in some way.

Secondly ensure that you get the things you physically need. Enough sleep, plenty of good quality protein, fruit and vegetables. Staying hydrated. If you hate drinking water try adding something to it to make it taste better like a slice of lemon, or lime or cucumber. Or add ice or have it hot. 

Give yourself enough headspace and blank slots in the diary. We all need time to unwind, rest, potter and socialise. If your diary is looking too full see what you can cross out of it so you have time to do the things you love.

If possible have early nights or at least time each evening to unwind. Maybe switch off the tv, dim the lighting a little bit, put on some soft music or some candles and just breathe deeply.

The other week I was feeling a bit burned out so I got myself a jigsaw from the charity shop, put on a podcast and made a cup of tea and had a super chilled out evening mindfully putting the puzzle pieces in the right place! 

Think about what nourishes you emotionally and spiritually. Who and what makes your heart sing or set your soul on fire? Do more of the things that make you happy and avoid things that are negative for the sake of being negative. So switch off the news channels and unfollow the negative people from social media. Unfollow friends who always moan on social media.

Have something to look forward to – could be days out, meeting friends for coffee or lunch, play time for arts and crafting, trips to the coast, holidays, concerts or time to simply do nothing! 

What do I do if I burn out?

Cancel everything you can possibly cancel! Sometimes we just need to have a deep rest and reset.

Eat light foods that are nourishing and comforting. Cocoon yourself in a blanket. Go for walks or swims and get some fresh air. Take as many naps as you need. Watch funny movies, put on some cartoons. do some crafting. But be gentle on yourself and allow yourself the time to simply be for a while. Don’t push yourself to do anything strenuous. Talk nicely to yourself like you would talk to your best friend. Go gently. Keep stimulation to a minimum. If necessary dim the lights and put on soft music. Do the bare minimum you need to do to get through each day until you start to feel better.

Focus on getting plenty of sleep. Sleep helps to restore us and is great for the soul. You may need to invest in some blackout blinds or heavy curtains, or to buy a pillow mist, play a sleep podcast, get some different bedding – experiment with pillow heights and heavy blankets, often we need weighing down and the right pillow in order for us to be able to sleep effectively.

If you’re waking up in the night try having a little light supper before bed, especially something that involves some protein and carbohydrates. Having a set routine to going to bed and getting up again can be helpful as can having set meal times.

Have a series of massages, reflexology treatments or reiki sessions to unwind and support you. Managing stress is key with burnout. Alternatively look into mindfulness classes or something relaxing like yoga nidra.

Once you start to feel less burned out and feel like you’re on the road to recovery think about how you’d like your life to look. What would that look like? What steps can you take to make it happen? Sometimes we need to tweak things a little bit in order to create a life that supports and nourishes us.

This may include working fewer hours or changing roles entirely. Or it could involve giving up a volunteering role, or looking for something more in alignment with your current values and aspirations! It could be starting a new hobby or side hustle giving you a renewed sense of purpose. Often when we get burned out we lose that motivation and our va va voom! Having a really good reason to get out of bed on a morning can help ease burnout. 

Things to try:

Try my chicken and leek soup recipe for something that’s restorative https://www.mamacoopskitchen.co.uk/chicken-and-leek-soup/

 

Read my articles on sleep 

How long does burnout take to pass over?

This largely depends on the individual and how burned out they were. If you have a mild case of burnout it may pass over in as little as a few weeks but more extreme cases may take months or even years to pass over. 

How do I ensure burnout doesn’t happen again?

Whilst there are no guarantees that it won’t happen again, watch out for the warning signs, the sinking into mental, physical and emotional exhaustion and notice when motivation starts to dwindle and top up your levels with things that you love doing and attempt to delegate anything you as an individual don’t need to do yourself. Ensure that you always have something to look forward to and enough sleep, rest, exercise, water and good food. If you do find yourself heading towards burnout go gently on yourself for a while until it goes away again!

 

10 Simple ways to help you feel better about yourself.

 

1 Accept yourself warts and all.

Many of us feel that we have to be perfect, to give perfection and to be 100% happy, sweet and nice all the time. It’s simply not true. We all have our faults, our limitations, our sheer humanity and instead of seeing ourself as broken, flawed or imperfect we could simply embrace our ‘warts’ and hug them to ourselves.

Just as the golden bits of a kintsugi pot stick the broken bits of a pot back together to make the whole thing more valuable, our humanity, our ‘broken-ness’ is what makes us interesting.

Imagine being with someone who was 100% perfect? I imagine that I’d be bored within 20 minutes. I love hearing the quirks and foibles of people. I’m always curious to know what keeps people awake at night, what makes them happy, what their biggest fear and greatest achievement is.

self love

2. Know that you don’t have to be perfect to be loved, loving and loveable

For many years I believed myself to be unloveable because I wasn’t perfect. It never occurred to me until relatively recently that the things that make me imperfect are pretty much the same things that make me loveable.

Know that it is safe to be you, and that people will love you anyway. Dare to be you. Perfectly, imperfect, loveable you.

Imperfect

3. Acknowledge that you’re doing your best with the information, resources and knowledge that you have available to you.

You are doing your best, and that’s all that matters. We often worry that we could have done better or if only we’d known then what we know now we would have done things differently.

It’s important to realise that we’re always doing our best, and when we have more skills, more knowledge and more experience we will do better!

comparison is the thief of all joy

4. Comparison is the thief of all joy.

Never compare yourself to the illusion that anyone else is projecting. We will never really know what is going on in another persons life, and to compare ourselves negatively to the image that another person is projecting is only ever going to end in tears.

Your next door neighbour may look like they have it all (in comparison to you) but you don’t know if secretly they fancy having a quieter life (Like you!) or whether they think you’re doing way better than them.

When my children were at primary school their headteacher raised a really good point. Each of us are given a tree to climb but the trees aren’t equal trees. Some trees have easier branches to climb so they will allow people to climb higher in their tree, but your tree might have an easier bit towards the top. I thought that was a nice way to think of it.

I’ve now realised that putting my energy into what I’m doing is way more productive than fantasizing about how well everyone else is doing in comparison to me!

If you wouldnt say it to a child dont say it to yourself

5. Speak kindly to yourself

What we say to others and what we say to ourselves can be two very different things. If you are kind to other people when they make a mistake and mean to yourself over the least little thing then please stop! I once heard someone say that ‘if you wouldn’t say that mean thing you’ve said to a child, don’t say it to yourself’ and that was incredibly powerful. 

We are delicate beings and need to be treated with kindness. So next time you’re about to tell yourself off for some minor misdemeanour, stop!

Tell yourself that you’ve tried your best and that you’ve now learned from your mistake and move on. Vow never to say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to a child! 

shadow side

6. You are stronger than you think.

Even if you don’t feel it at times, you are strong. We all are. We all have our inner tiger ready to roar when necessary. It’s ok to allow that kitten to roar when needs must. You can still be a fabulous person and be assertive too.

If you find something seems a bit scary, maybe take the pressure off yourself and allow yourself to be playful and simply ‘see what happens if…’ Without the pressure of having to be successful, or having to pass that test, or get everything right first time you will gain confidence to experiment. 

emotion

7. It’s ok to experience a range of emotions

You don’t have to be happy 100% of the time. Everyone experiences a range of emotions, including joy, sadness, fear, elation, anger, pain. And that’s ok. It can be hard when we feel we always have to be in a positive mindset. We really don’t.

Whilst it is helpful to have a positive mindset some of the time, it is also perfectly normal to have times when you’re sad, angry or just plain bored.

I always used to believe that I had to be happy all the time, that I wasn’t allowed to have a down moment or to feel angry or upset. That’s simply not the case! 

mistakes

8. People Make Mistakes

You can’t get everything right all of the time, so don’t beat yourself up too much when you make a silly mistake! Simply accept your humanity and be kind to yourself.

I’ve wasted way too much of my life worrying about little mistakes that really didn’t matter in the long run. If necessary apologise and then move on with your life. Don’t let silly mistakes ruin the rest of your life!

dancing

9. It’s ok to do things that only make sense to you! 

You don’t need to follow anyone else’s path nor dance to anyone else’s tune. I know way too many people with a story which goes like ‘ My……………. forced me to do ……….but I wanted to do  ……..instead. I was unhappy. Now I’m doing…..and feel so much better.’ 

Follow your own path, dance your own tune. Don’t feel you have to get a glossy corporate job (unless you want a glossy corporate job!)

If you would feel happier doing something creative, do that instead. Do whatever feels right for you. It doesn’t matter if other people don’t get it! Do it anyway! 

mental health

10. People aren’t watching you as much as you might think!

In the past I’ve been held back by this thought that people are actually interested in what I’m doing, to the point that I worry that they’d have an opinion on how well I’m doing things etc.

I’ve finally realised that people have so much stuff going on in their own lives that they literally don’t care what I’m up to. So do whatever makes sense for you and don’t worry about what other people think! 

About Sarah Cooper

I am a Reflexologist, Aromatherapist, Reiki Master Practitioner, Massage Therapist and Writer from Boroughbridge, North Yorkshire. I love writing about Health and Wellbeing, Mind Body Spirit and Reflexology. When I'm not at work, you can find me in the kitchen cooking up a storm!

If you'd like to book a treatment please go to https://www.sarahcooper.co.uk/book

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